Eurovision 2023

[Slim]

How did it come to this? A song contest intended to foster a sense of community between the nations of Europe has descended into a freak show.

When did the woofters hijack this once innocent celebration of unexceptional music?

[Slim]

Austria - not sure what to make of it really. Simple, not very interesting. It won't win but it's not awful, I'll say 5/10.

Next up, Portugal - I quite like this - spirited performance, uptempp folky vibe which I think suits Eurovision. An unkind person might describe it as Eurovision By Numbers but I'll give it a 6.

[Slim]

Switzerland - the boy has a nice voice but it's a tedious, formula ballad. Inoffensive at best, I'll give it 5.

Poland - again I feel like I've heard this before, formula Europop. I will say though that this is the most visually appealing of the acts so far. By quite some distance. It's a 5.

[dom]

Just switched on. This act is a bit like a latin Brittany. Weird then that she  comes from Poland

[dom]

Serbian entry is a but weird. Think it might grow on me but I'll probably never hear it again

[dom]

Edith Piaff trills from France!

[Slim]

Serbia - ohh.. nice Bond theme vibe in the intro. But that's all there is. Outstays its welcome in a minute. Actually only has the same three chords all the way through. It's a 4.

So far I haven't heard what I'd call a good song yet. Can France change that for me?

Oh it's an archetypical French torch song that morphs into an uptempo, moody ballad. Easily the best of the night so far, it's a 6.

[dom]

Yes liked it too. She looked a little precarious up there. Glad she didn't fall

[R6GYY]

Cyprus my fave so far. Spain incredibly annoying.

[Slim]

Cyprus - here's a song with a trite message that - again - sounds like boring overwrought chart music. Cheese. 4.

Spain - I'm getting Arabic vibes from this one. Perhaps it is a bit Flamenco-ish. Otherwise very unremarkable. 5.

[dom]

Really reverting to their Andalus heritage here.  Sevillanas to the fore. Just missing castanets and the formerly ubiquitous donkey!

[R6GYY]

That Sweden entry sounded very familiar.

[Slim]

Here's the 2012 winner, returning for Sweden and it's one of the favourites. It's a power ballad, reminds me very much of Wrecking Ball by Miley Cyrus. Well, it might win but I think it's overblown tosh. Maybe a 5. I do like Wrecking Ball, actually.

Albania - bonus point for the Ace Frehley costume. Again it's a ballad but it has interesting harmony, it's a decent song and it feels more heartfelt than overwrought. Going to give this one a 6.

Looking at the points I've awarded so far, they're all in the 4-6 range. No absolutely stinkers, nothing exceptional.

[R6GYY]

Italy I enjoyed.

[Slim]

Italy - another cheesy minor key ballad. Sounds like it was written by ChatGPT. Decent vocal performance, very ordinary song. At least it's not as bad as that awful pseudo-rock wank that won for the spaghetti munchers a couple of years ago. It's a 4.

Estonia - oh I say, she's bang on for 20.  It's a nice song, well performed. Perhaps she's chewing the scenery a little too much in the second part of the song but I like it. I can't give it more than a 6 though in good conscience.